Critics, Wrestling Fans Slam 'The Marine' & John Cena (Read The Quintessential Review Inside)
WHAT TO DO.. WATCHING THIS PAINT DRY OR SEE 'THE MARINE'?
Wow. I have read dozens of reviews about the movie. Most sh** on the film big time. Messages we are receiving thru the hotline have about 80% either making fun of the film or hating it. About 10% liked it but felt it was too much 'superhuman' nonsense going on. The other 10% enjoyed it.
The amusing comment I'm receiving from many, is how WWE added scenes to make John Cena literally superhuman. Surviving an explosion inside a store made alot of people laugh, even though the incident was not suppose to be funny.
This leads me to the review below. Of all the ones I've read, this one is the quintessential review about the film. Since I go back to the Rambo, Die Hard, and Arnold days, you can now understand why we cracked up at the USA Today article. (Comparing Cena & Clarkson to Arnold & Sharon Stone). And WWE stupidly posted the USA Today article on their website.
At least the real actors in the film seem to have escaped criticizm.
Here's the review from the Ottawa Sun:
In the '80s, those glory days of action flicks when it was generally understood an explosion couldn't actually hurt you as long as you were running away from it.
A second-rate Schwarzenegger, WWE star John Cena actually acts out this hack action-flick imagery several times in the course of the cartoon revenge flick The Marine -- a movie I liked a lot better the first time when it was called Commando.
Like the opening scene in which Cena, as super-marine John Triton, intervenes in the beheading of captive U.S. soldiers by a cell of al-Qaida in Iraq. He stands in the room as every Tom, Dick and Mohammad fires at him point-blank with machine guns. Natch, they miss. Natch, he doesn't.
Unfortunately, Triton disobeyed orders in rescuing his boys. So next thing you know, he's discharged and sent home to his wife (Kelly Carlson) in South Carolina to look for work.
Hijinks of a sort ensue. He gets fired from his job as a building security guy for "overreacting." But the play's truly afoot when he and his wife take a get-away-from-it-all drive to the mountains and, at a gas bar, encounter the bad guys who've just gotten away with $12 million in diamonds while blowing up half the downtown and killing a couple of cops.
A couple of gas explosions and another cop-killing later, the bad guys are on the lam in Triton's car with his wife.
All this takes about a half-hour, which leaves an interminable amount of time in the swampy backwoods disposing of hillbilly drug-traffickers, etc., before the inevitable ass-kicking and revenge taking -- though Triton's killing-machine status seems to vary depending on who he's fighting.
C'mon, Robert Patrick can't be that hard to beat up -- especially when he's all dispirited and depressed about being in a movie like this.
BOTTOM LINE
Wrestler John Cena is a wannabe Arnie (minus acting range and sense of humour). A movie so dumb it may actually cause brain damage.
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